It was such an honor to be asked to officiate a friend’s wedding. I also had a flurry of questions: What are the requirements to officiate a wedding in Illinois? How do I become ordained? What are the key components of a wedding ceremony? Most importantly, what is the vision of the couple? Finally, what documents are required to make it legal?
With the help of Google, the logistical ones were easy. Then, as I sat with the couple at Starbucks, their vision gradually emerged. Ezra and Antonio caringly spoke of their first meeting on the corner of Broadway and Granville, the dreams they shared, and how they each immediately knew, “this is my person.” Their love was palpable.
They also expressed their differing spiritualities. Ezra spoke of his deep love for various religious traditions; Antonio of a quieter connection. They both agreed that they wanted a simple and meaningful ceremony.
Ezra suggested that the ceremony include “bluebirds of happiness,” a cherished Ozark Mountain tradition symbolizing joy, hope, and love. Ezra imagined his Aunt Etta Sue and Antonio’s Mom, Antonia, each placing a glass bluebird on a small table on each side of a unity candle. This would be followed by the lighting of the candle. What a perfect way to symbolize their union and the coming together of their families. We had a plan.
A few days later, the couple concluded that a unity candle was risky for an outdoor wedding in Chicago. They feared that the wind would blow it out. No unity candle; the bluebirds would be placed next to a plant on the table. We had a new plan…
…until the day before the wedding when I received an urgent text. Aunt Etta Sue’s plane had arrived at O’Hare, but the special bluebirds were sitting on her dining room table back home. There were no bluebirds for the ceremony.
No worries! The couple had just realized that they were being married under a big, beautiful ginkgo tree. They shared that this sturdy tree represents longevity, resilience, and hope, and its two-lobed fan-shaped leaves symbolize duality, balance and unity. A new ritual was born. The family members would carry in ginkgo branches. Of course, there was the minor challenge of finding these branches within 24 hours; those on the actual tree were not accessible.
Again, Google to the rescue! I quickly located artificial ginkgo branches at Target. Several locations were sold out, but the one on Elston Avenue had two in stock. I placed the order and then remembered that my car was in the shop.
It takes a strong Internet connection and a village of helpers to pull off a wedding! My husband, Mark, agreed to give me a ride to Target. Honestly, I imagined us arriving at the store and receiving branches that weren’t appropriate for the celebration. I was sure we’d spend the rest of the day driving all over Chicago to find something suitable. Nope! The branches were perfect. We arrived home, placed them in a vase, added some stones, and texted a picture to the couple. We had another new plan.
On a gorgeous October day, Etta Sue and Antonia placed ginkgo branches in a vase while the orchestra played soft music. Then, Antonio and Ezra shared their heartfelt vows and the wedding officiant (who only made a couple of rookie mistakes that nobody noticed) pronounced them “married.” While the symbolism of the towering ginkgo tree and its beautiful branches was deeply meaningful, it didn’t come close to the true love between Ezra and Antonio, their family and friends, and the cloud of witnesses present that day.
Congratulations and best wishes to Ezra and Antonio!
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