Last time I biked to this Evanston coffee house, I wasn’t carrying any cash. This time, I was prepared with a couple dollars.
I immediately recognized him, although I didn’t remember his name. He was wearing a faded pair of jeans and a cool t-shirt with a map of the purple line. I suspect that he lives in a supportive housing unit in the neighborhood.
He greeted me with a “Ma’am” (Do I really look that old?!) and asked for a dollar. I said “hello’ and then dug into my backpack and handed him two folded bills. He told me that his brother Michael’s birthday was on Sunday. I offered good wishes to Michael and complimented him on his t-shirt. Then, he carefully tucked the dollars into his wallet, thanked me, and shuffled away from my table.
I felt good about giving this man a little cash and conversation. I also knew that it wasn’t enough. I should have bought him a coffee. I could have invited him to sit with me. If only I would have asked him to remind me of his name.
The truth is: I bike to this “local” coffee shop, so that I can write in solitude while surrounded by community. Is it okay to set some boundaries around this?
As I wrestled with this question and my list of “could have, should have, would have’s,” I watched as he approached the other customers. Every single person smiled and responded with kind words: some gave him money. They treated him with dignity, respect, and a sense of welcome.
I know that I didn’t do enough for this man. I’m pretty sure that I could never do enough for him. I know that none of the other customers did enough for this man. I’m pretty sure that none of them could ever do enough for him.
And yet, each person made a seemingly small contribution towards showing him that he is a valued member of the community. In these horrifying times, these acts of kindness are certainly something to celebrate. Perhaps, it’s just what we need.
Margaret Mead said, “Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed, citizens can change the world.” I might add: never doubt that a small group of coffee drinkers can change a community and eventually the world through seemingly small acts of kindness.
What seemingly small acts of kindness are you noticing in your communities? What are you celebrating in these horrifying times?
Copyright (c) 2025, Bridget Purdome, ThePearlDivers.com. All rights reserved.