While celebrating the holidays in both the United States and Canada, I encountered several examples of “othering.” For those not familiar with this word, Merriam-Webster states that “othering” means “to treat or consider (a person or a group of people) as alien to oneself or one’s group (as because of different racial, sexual, or cultural characteristics.)”
A friend shared that his work colleague gave him a copy of the Christian New Testament and told him that he needed to be saved. In his workplace, he was othered for being Jewish.
A new acquaintance shared that they recently accepted a new job and moved to Nova Scotia seeking a more welcoming environment. In the states, they had been othered for their gender identity.
The news reported that a 68-year-old, long-time street vendor was detained by ICE while selling tamales. Right here in Chicago, he was othered for his documentation status despite raising his family here.
How do I respond to those who experience othering? Even as I write, I find myself classifying them into various groups – Jewish, non-binary, and undocumented. As part of my upbringing, I, too, have been conditioned to sort and classify people into various categories. And yet, I don’t know any other way to express my solidarity for these individuals and groups.
A white Christian man texted me his concerns about the new Mayor of New York City being sworn-in on a Quran. He othered Zohran Mamdani for being Muslim.
How do I respond to someone who others? Even as I describe him, I find myself classifying him into various groups. During our exchange, I was challenged to both listen to his fears and support those he was othering. In the midst of his ranting, he asked me for my opinion, so I sent him a few links that I thought might be helpful. Of course, they weren’t.
Did I listen deeply to his perspectives? Admittedly, no. We’ve had far too many similar text exchanges. Instead, I responded, and he continued to rant. Finally, I said that I needed to get ready for yoga and wished him a great day. We were able to briefly bond as he shared that he planned to strength train today and practice yoga tomorrow.
Maybe that’s the best I could do in this encounter. Be respectful. Find a common interest. Wish him well. And move on with my day. Is what that radical guy, Jesus, meant in the Christian scriptures when he instructed his disciples to “wish peace and shake the dust off your feet?” Perhaps, this is all I could do in this particular situation. At the same time, I would like to listen better to those with differing opinions and allow space for them to express their fears.
This new year, how do I treat all people with respect? Listen more deeply? Denounce all forms of othering? How do I discern when to set boundaries? Continue to expand and to grow? Patiently offer space for others to do the same?
How about you? What are your new year’s invitations and challenges?
Happy new year to you and your loved ones. May we continue to imagine and create a world where ALL living beings thrive.
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