If only I were a better meditator, I’d be more disciplined about sticking to a consistent schedule. If only I were a better meditator, I wouldn’t be so easily distracted by everything going on around me and within me. If only I were a better meditator, I would seamlessly integrate the fruits of my morning practice into every moment of my day.
If only I were a better meditator, I would have moved into my sitting practice upon waking at the retreat house. Instead, I sensed the call of the yard and quickly snuck outside. I was a little late for the sun’s dramatic entrance, but the birds cheerfully greeted me, and the flowers waved in the gentle wind. The dewy grass felt good on my bare feet. There was a sense of magic in the hazy, morning air.
I stood a few feet from a group of bushes that were just outside the garden fence, gently stretching my body with a series of qigong moves. Finally, I sat down in a chair and prepared to settle into my morning meditation. Immediately, my eyes popped open. I spotted a small creature, about the size of a rabbit, settling into one of the bushes. It had a brown speckled coat that reminded me of a deer, but it was far too small!
I tried to return to my meditation, but I just couldn’t concentrate. I opened my eyes, stood up and crept over to the bush to investigate the curious creature. As I peered into the bush, I was shocked to see a tiny deer staring back at me. I jumped and then ran to the porch. I didn’t want its mother coming after me!
I sat on the porch and surveyed the yard. No sign of Mother Deer! I kept watch for the next couple hours until I saw the Retreat Director. I excitedly told her about my discovery, and we both hurried back outside. We snuck into the garden with Tiny Fawn on one side of the fence and us on the other. As I spotted this soft and precious little deer, tears came to my eyes. I had never seen such a beautiful creature.
It was hard to leave the retreat house and Tiny Fawn that afternoon. Later, I heard that Mother Deer was spotted that evening, and by the next morning, there was no sign of either Mother Deer or Tiny Fawn.
If only I were a better meditator, I might have missed Tiny Fawn.
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